Saturday, September 19, 2009

Claigh's September Column

The Fundamental Preparation

Claigh H. Jensen, LCSW September 6, 2009

Labor Day is our celebration of the American worker and the freedoms we enjoy in this great land to create, produce and provide. Over the years of my life I have come to love work. I have also observed that for many people retirement is way overrated! The ability to work is a core skill developed in childhood that shapes a persons entire life. It is the underlying ability that promotes happiness and a sense of well-being. Developing a strong work ethic is critical for parents and their children.

Thomas Alva Edison, one of the great inventors taught, “Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.”

One of parents’ greatest responsibilities is to teach their children effective work habits and to help them develop a strong work ethic. This ethic includes a willingness to work, the ability to enjoy work, and passion for productive work. With these in mind, let's apply Edison's formula to successful child rearing.

1. Forethought: Take time to effectively plan for the training of your children. Observe other parents whose children know how to work. Visit with them about the how they are teaching their children good work habits. Develop a vision of the type of work ethic you would like your child to possess as an adult. Remember you are helping your child develop a positive attitude toward work.

2. System: According to Dictionary.com one meaning of the word “system” is, “an ordered and comprehensive assemblage of facts, principles, [and] doctrines.” As you are in the process of figuring out the “how and what” to teach, be sure what you are putting together makes sense and that you as parents are willing and able to work together in unity and consistency. Work must be a family value.

3. Planning: Consider what you want to teach your children about work as well as specific experiences you will provide that will help them learn to work effectively. On a farm it seems there are plenty of opportunities to teach and learn principles of work. For those in the city, more thought may be required. Work opportunities begin in the home and then may expand to parks or other community sites. Perhaps a widow's lawn needs care, providing a child with the satisfaction of service as well as joy of a job well done.

4. Intelligence: The German poet, Berthold Brecht, once said, “Intelligence is not to make no mistakes, but quickly to see how to make them good.” Pay attention to how and what you are doing. With end results in mind, seek suggestions from your child on a particular work need, drawing them into the “thinking it through” process. Focus on purpose. Make improvements where needed. Determine to stay on track, again, with the desired end in mind. Use good judgment.

5. Honest Purpose: Through example and positive expectation, teach your children integrity - to do the right thing for the right reason. Be honest. Have a worthy purpose that will improve the quality of life in the home as well as the community. It is important for parents to model good work habits for their children. Happily working with children while cleaning the kitchen, doing yard work or during a service project is a great way for children to learn the joy and satisfaction that comes from effective and productive work.

6. Perspiration: Thomas Edison’s famous quote confirms, “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” A parent needs to help a child see a job through to its completion. Much of the gratification that comes through work is lost if there is not a successful end. As F. Enzio Busche stated, “In thoroughness there is satisfaction.” Inspire your children to perspire!

Americans recognize that our strong work ethic is essential to a prosperous and happy people. Parents need to make every effort to pass this ethic along to the next generation and to help their children develop good work skills. Work is the foundation of a happy life. Helen Keller expressed it this way, “Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” To know the blessing of work is to thrive.

Additional helps

http://www.ahherald.com/atlarge/2005/050505_child_work.htm

http://www.houseoforder.com/teachingchildrentowork.htm

http://www.bible.ca/f-child-teach-work.htm

http://early-childhood-development.suite101.com/article.cfm/chores_and_children

http://www.wahm-articles.com/Article/Teach-Children-Good-Work-Habits/4434


One last Reunion Note . . .

I must conclude by saying how grateful I am to Heavenly Father for watching over our family during our reunion time. I had made our safety a matter of prayer for weeks prior to our gathering. There were thousands of miles traveled with no incident. We found Isaac safe and sound. The fact that Claigh happened by the slide stairs at the swimming pool just at the right moment to catch Elijah was a true miracle. This could have been a serious accident but ended up being a matter of a few scrapes and bruises. I am deeply grateful for a merciful Father in Heaven who answered my prayers in such a wonderful way. Our family is our greatest treasure. Not always do we escape the struggles and trials of life but at times there are these miracles that in our heart of hearts we know are blessings from a loving God. Thank-you Father in Heaven!

Sara's Excellent Jensen Reunion 2009 Post . . .

IDAHO!

In to the second week of our trip. On Friday, June 27th we started making our way from California to Idaho. On the way out we stopped by Summer and Philippe's to drop off the excess groceries we all purchased for the beach house and to say bye. We left Vista at 11:30 CA time. We got slowed down a few hours by the mass exodus of Californians to Vegas for the weekend. It was totally annoying. Without getting off the freeway in Vegas we were in Las Vegas for over an hour. We were hoping to make it to Provo so we could stay free at the Landons' and fortunately we made it there at 11:30 Utah time.

The dog, Crash barked at us for a few hours which was pretty annoying. We got acquainted with the cat Xena who is awesome. Jean and Ross were on an anniversary trip and were extra kind enough to let us crash so we could handle the final 4 hours of the trip to Idaho. Xena is a cat they rescued. She is seriously one of the most beautiful cats I have ever seen and she is a bit schizophrenic. For our less than 12 hours there she would race Jared up the stairs to bat at him through the rails. She "attacked" his feet and overall entertained me. She also gave me a bear hug around one leg. Kindly she left her claws in for this.

We left Utah by 9 AM our time, 10 AM local time. Because of this we managed to be in 5 different states in less than 24 hours: California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, and then Idaho. Jared and I were shocked at how beautiful Cache Valley and Southern Idaho are. It was so green which I guess is unusual but they had had a rainy June. Sometimes we forget that we really are city people and it is fun to fantasize about buying a ranch up there. On the way home we drove through Garfield County in Southern Utah and I would so give up city life to live there and just enjoy God's creations. (But then we made it back to Phoenix, and I woke up realizing how much I love this town.)

Carey and I were texting our progress back and forth. Apparently the family was anxiously awaiting our arrivals. It was awesome to see all of my sisters and most of their families. I got to meet Will and Greg Stalcup for the first time and maybe Isaac Stewart. (I don't remember if he or Gideon was a baby the time the Stewarts stayed with the Baileys in Gilbert.)Until Wednesday we had 28 people staying in the same house. Todd had to get back to work so the number dropped to 27 for the remainder of our stay. I was grateful I had done all of my family's laundry at the beach house in California because if I hadn't my family would have been naked or wearing dirty clothes for the majority of the week.

A side note: If I got any of the time-line or groups wrong please let me know in the comments!

The kids enjoyed vacation bathing standards as we didn't want to hog too much of the bathrooms. I thought we all did an excellent job of sharing space, 3 bathrooms, 1 kitchen, and 6 bedrooms. My boys really enjoyed the slumber party family room where the majority of the kids slept. I enjoyed hearing stories from both my mom and dad as I helped wrangle kids for bed time. All of the kids enjoyed hearing naughty stories and I never tire of hearing how my dad tried to outrun my grandpa when he was in trouble. (Mom and Dad, you both need to start blogging your childhood remembrances and your remembrances of our childhoods regularly!) I also enjoyed my dad's singing of "Angel Lullaby" and I can't remember the hymns my mom sang but I loved them. I remember it is a hymn that shares a title with a more commonly sung hymn and I was surprised when she started singing since I expected the other song to come out. I love that my mom played the accordion growing up and even played on TV once.

My boys also enjoyed eating outside with all of the kids away from Jared's and my watchful eyes. Dinner was always excellent. The chicken, beans and rice we had on Thursday night was awesome. Reid's Dairy in Idaho Falls has awesome ice cream and great grilled cheese sandwiches.

I loved going to church at my parents' home ward. My mother gave an awesome Sunday School lesson. Getting so many kids to the proper Primary classes was fun for Jared and I. Unfortunately Kes was sick and the Primary leaders separated Gid and Maxwell. Gid, Maxwell, Bryn, and Noah were the only ones who didn't have cousins with them in their classes.

Their ward has a weird policy though that I didn't find out about until after. I was sitting during the actual Sacrament trying to figure out why so many parents with crying babies weren't taking their babies out until after Sacrament was finished. It didn't bother me, it was just unusual. At least one of my sisters did get up and leave with their distraught child and I learned the reason why no one else leaves. Their ward does not take Sacrament to those out in the halls so one of my sisters only got the bread. I am sure they have some logic to it, but I think if you do something like that you should put it in neon lights above the Sacrament table or something to inform the visitors and new people something like "If your baby cries or screams stay seated until after the Sacrament. It will be okay." When I had toddlers and babes I was in a ward where everyone was judging you and staring at you if your kids made a quiet peep never mind actual tears.

The best part of Idaho was being with my family. I am so lucky to have 4 wonderful sisters and 2 wonderful parents and so many great nieces and nephews and brothers-in-law. And not that I have any say, but, Alyssa when you get married you need to get married in Idaho, Utah, or last choice Arizona (it would work great for Carey and I, not so much for anybody else, but we would let everyone stay with us, which gives us 4 bathrooms and 8 bedrooms) so most of us can be there.

My main activity in Idaho was going to Walgreens. Jared had a cold or allergies or something and I had to pick up my prescription. I went there 4 times I believe. Other activities included going to the temple grounds for family pictures, going to Reid's Dairy, going to Yellowstone Bear World, going to a splash park in Rexburg, going to the swimming pool, and walking along the Idaho Falls greenbelt.

On Saturday we ate pizza. Just so everyone knows, if you want Jared to visit offer him pizza before he comes and feed him pizza as much as possible while he is there. Jared is a pizza fiend. I felt bad for Todd who is rocking his diet (already lost 30+ lbs and looking quite svelte) and could not partake of any pizza. I rode with my mom, Noah, Kes, and Max to pick up the pizza from Papa Murphy's.

On Sunday we celebrated Jared's birth, life thus far, and future life by eating brownie sundaes. My mom buys the best candles.

On Monday we separated into groups. The men and most of the older children went shooting and the ladies and the younger children went to a splash park in Rexburg. Elijah, my dad, Brynja, Jensen, and Spencer were lucky enough to do both. My dad called us on the way out the door to let us know he would meet us there. Carey told us to get the swimsuits for that group of kids and somehow forgot Jennie's in the rush. Luckily Elijah was wearing basketball shorts so we lent Jen his swim trunks which were way more comfortable than the jean shorts she was wearing. I had to stay in the shade because of the major sunburn I was rocking so I happily helped tend to the babies, Greg and Lucy. The splash park was mostly uneventful except that we lost Isaac. Isaac had a pattern he was following and my dad was watching him. Isaac flitted out of the pattern so it was a bit stressful looking for him. I remembered Cameron talking about how sometimes he runs off to the bathroom in public places so I thought to look there. I found him in the boys' bathroom and helped him get redressed. I was much relieved to have found him safe and sound.

Monday evening we headed to the temple grounds for family pictures. Grandma and Grandpa bribed the grandkids with a trip to Reid's Dairy afterwards. The ice cream and waffle cones were awesome and we had fun checking the animals out at the farm. We saw roosters and chickens up in trees which I was sure to take many pictures of. Overall, it was a wonderful day. I agree with Tom though about the wearing white making you look fat. The white looks good and I am sure if I was skinny the white would look great on me.

Tuesday Jared, Dad, Jonah, Noah, and Elijah went to play Frisbee Golf or Disc Golf. Jacob and Todd went to Pocatello to get the tires changed on the van, and the rest of us took care of the kiddies at home. Cameron did a super fun story time which ended in a dance party. Some of the highlights from story time include Felicity standing up next to her mom also holding a book, Greg sitting attentively on my lap listening to the stories, Isaac sitting on my lap listening to the stories and Aunt Alyssa reading the super long dragon book with several of the kids clambering over each other and her to get a better view. Dance party is always a high light and we enjoyed watching each other's "moves".

My mom had gone and purchased a sprinkler and splash balls for the kids and when she returned we got the kids ready to play in the backyard. After listening to much whining and crying about the splash balls, I stopped the game. No parties were innocent. The whining went something like this, "So and so splashed me." and me responding with, "You splashed them. If you don't want to play with the splash balls and you aren't getting anybody then nobody will get you." After awhile my patience ran out and I took the splash balls away. I think games like that really require men around to keep the kids from being sissy whine babies. During the remaining water play Ashlee, Greg, and I set up shop in a shady spot of the lawn monitoring the kids.

Wednesday, the Baileys divided off for a family day, Alyssa went to work, my mom went in for an emergency root canal procedure, and the rest of us went to Yellowstone Bear World. Jared and I drove Kes, Steve, and Greg in our car and everyone else was divided among the rental Expedition and Cameron's van. Once we made it to the park we gave a crying Greg back to Ashlee so we had Kes and Steve only. We had a lot of fun in our car and Steve is only a lot bit mischievous. Steve's back was killing him and he needed an appointment some time next week. I would share some of the other naughtiness that took place in our car but I don't want to give my mom a heart attack. We all made it out of Bear World alive (barely). Thanks Mom and Dad for funding the adventure. During the trek, my camera and camcorder batteries died so there is little documentation. We did get to feed the bears and elk and stuff which was a lot of fun. I even got a few of the bears to beg despite the annoying group of people with us that refused to follow the directions from the guide. Seriously, they were a super annoying family swifting our food after they over-tossed their own.

Thursday is a day I wish I could block from my memory aside from the happy ending part. Mom still needed to recuperate (oddly enough) from her root canal and Alyssa had to work once again so the rest of us went swimming at the local indoor pool. Jacob stayed home with a napping Lucy. The pool made me nervous from the beginning since the lifeguards weren't very attentive and there were only 2 watching a super large pool that was full of people. Because of this I was working at keeping a good eye on my kids and as many of the nieces and nephews as possible. Jared and some of the kids had been at the diving boards and I would glance over there occasionally. I saw Elijah fall off the high dive from the top of the ladder onto the cement. I saw a man try to stop Elijah's fall but I didn't know who it was or how successful they were. I don't think I have ever screamed so loud. Most of my sisters also saw this happen. I was freaking out (understatement) and couldn't understand why there was what seemed to be no response from the lifeguards. There were some curse words aimed at the staff there and a lot of anger from me. It turned out my dad had just finished swimming laps and had decided to go over to the high dive. Because of that (which I credit Heavenly Father with) my dad was there and able to drastically slow down Elijah's fall so his head only hit the cement a little bit and he came out of it with no broken bones or serious injury, just a lot of really bad bruises and a few scratches. Poor Jared had to watch the whole thing helplessly from about 8 ft away. He had been standing in line at the low dive. The only other time I remember being that angry (as I was with the pool staff) was with the idiot nurse from Jared's initial stay at the hospital post motorcycle accident. The pools were never cleared and the lifeguards seemed completely untrained in how to handle any sort of incident. We are all blessed that Elijah wasn't seriously injured (as he should have been) because of their lack of response. Basically the situation left me a lot nervous to ever take my kids swimming again.

Thursday night Mom and Dad manned the kiddos so Carey, Ashlee, Steve, Cameron, Alyssa, Jared and I could go out to raise a little ruckus in Idaho Falls. We tried to find some cows to tip but ultimately failed. We headed again to Reid's Dairy. It was too cold to eat the ice cream outside so we all piled in to the rented Expedition. I thought it would be neat to drive around the temple at night so I asked Steve to meaning we could park over there and all enjoy our ice creams. I guess I wasn't clear enough and poor Steve didn't catch the purpose of us parking over there so when I asked if we could drive around the falls after we were parked for a bit he about died with wanting to eat his treat as well. We all had a good laugh and then he finally was able to eat his treat. We went down by the river and walked along the greenbelt. The river was super high and super rapid which left Steve, Ashlee, Jared, and I all deciding not to take the kids by there before leaving town on Friday. On the drive home I took a picture and the flash about gave Steve a heart attack thinking he had gotten a ticket since in Ohio they have traffic cams just like us in AZ.

Friday was spent packing up. Jared, Grandpa, Elijah and I don't know who else went for a super early morning round of Disc Golf. We made sure Elijah and Xander had a chance to play catch with Grandpa before leaving town. I was sure to get cousin pictures in age groups. And then we headed off to Salt Lake.

I am so grateful my parents and Alyssa opened up their house to all of us so we could have such an awesome reunion. Thank-you to my mom especially for the cleaning, shopping, and preparation that only a mom would realize needed to be done. The food was great and Idaho is beautiful. We look forward to many more visits in the years to come.

Reunion 2009 Part 5



Our family devotional theme for our 2009 reunion was "Temples." The above picture of Claigh and Isaac is from our time in the Idaho Falls Temple Visitor's Center. When I consider how blessed we are to live in a dispensation where temple ordinances are available, my heart fills with joy. We had a temple display with temples that are particularly meaningful to our family:

Los Angeles Temple
- Great Grandpa and Grandma Jensen were sealed one year after their conversion,
- Grandpa Claigh was sealed to his family when he was six years old.
- Grandpa Claigh's first trip for baptisms for the dead
- Grandpa Claigh and Grandma Wendy received their endowments and were sealed to each other and their baby girl Cameron January 15, 1972.

Alberta Temple
- Grandma Wendy's first trip to the temple was when she was twelve years old and she was baptized for her mother Shirley Doreen Coover Smith who had died six years earlier.
- Grandma Wendy was sealed to her adoptive parents, Harry and Viola Smith, when she was thirteen years old.

Chicago Illinois Temple
- Cameron, Carey, Sara, and Ashlee's first temple trips for baptisms for the dead.
- Jonah was born in the covenant because his parents were sealed in this temple.
- Grandpa Claigh and Grandma Wendy served as restricted ordinance workers.
- Uncle Steve received his endowment.



Portland Oregon Temple
- Uncle Todd received his endowments


Provo Utah Temple
- Aunt Cameron and Aunt Carey received their endowments.




Salt Lake Utah Temple
- Uncle Todd and Aunt Carey were married.


Nauvoo Temple Site
- Uncle Steve asked Aunt Ashlee to marry him.







St. Louis Missouri Temple
- Aunt Alyssa's first temple trip to do baptisms for the dead.
- Aunt Ashlee received her endowment.
- Uncle Steve and Aunt Ashlee were sealed in the St. Louis Temple.



Palmyra Temple
- Uncle Steve and Aunt Ashlee lived in Buffalo New York when this temple was built. All of the children of the temple district have bricks with their names on in a path at the temple. There is a brick with "Baby Stalcup" for Brynja who was soon to be born.



Washington D.C. Temple
- Aunt Cameron and Collins were married.
- Grandma Wendy served as an ordinance worker.
- Aunt Alyssa received her endowment prior to her mission to Portugal.





Idaho Falls Temple
- Grandpa Claigh, Grandma Wendy and Aunt Alyssa's Temple 2009.
- Family pictures were taken on the temple grounds June 29, 2009.
- Spencer felt it was special that the temple is located by the river.


Mesa Arizona Temple
- Uncle Collins received his endowment.
- Jacob's first temple trip for baptisms for the dead.
- Aunt Sara received her endowment.
- Bailey and Anderson Family Temple 2009






Seattle Washington Temple - Stewart Family Temple 2009




Columbus Ohio Temple
- Stalcup Family Temple 2009

Bear World - Reunion 2009 Part 4


One thing that I had really looked forward to this year was the trip to Bear World with the Stalcups, Andersons, and Stewarts. However, Wednesday morning dawned with the minor molar pain from the night before intensified into drive me crazy pain. While the Baileys headed out for a family day and the others made their way to Bear World, I spent my time at first the dentist and then in emergency root canal surgery at the endodontist. Unfortunately I have a history of very bad teeth but the timing on this dental crisis couldn't have been worse. I was pretty frazzled by the end of the ordeal. (I left the endodontist office at about 3:00.)

From all reports, the family had a wonderful time at Bear World, the Baileys saw the hospital their mother was born in and ate at Craigos, and Alyssa had a good day at work. Todd had to head for work in Ogden that night and slowly the family began to leave.

I don't take well to the medications and anesthesia they have to use for root-canal surgery and this put me under a bit of stress for Thursday and Friday. I was not good for much BUT thankfully I did get to enjoy Bear World in 2008 with the Baileys AND I have had Craigos yummy chicken ranch pizza. I was disappointed to miss out on the fun none-the-less. I have yet to go disk-golfing. Claigh, Todd, Jared, Steve, Elijah, Jonah, Jacob and Noah had some fun on our beautiful course in Freeman Park. I'll have to get busy before the snow flies so I can sharpen some yet to be developed talent. It will be fun to give the boys a run for their money next visit.

Sara and Jared headed out early Friday, Ashlee and Steve Saturday and Carey and the kids stayed for a few more days. Carey and I made the most of our time by puzzling over the coconut filled chocolate cookies from Geraldine's Bakery here in Idaho Falls and determined to figure out our own recipe. Surely we could do something as wonderful for a lot less than $2 a cookie!

One of the great mysteries was how they got the coconut inside of the cookie. I asked the baker at Geraldine's and she just laughed, "We buy them frozen and bake them." Boy did that burst my impression of bakery life!

Carey and I had a couple of not so good attempts. First - Okay but chocolate was a bit weak. Then the coconut wasn't quite right. One thought added to another until we had a clear idea of what would work. Third time - SUCCESS! And we believe they are better than Geraldine's!! The Bailey kids named our creation "Cooffles" because in their minds they were cookie truffles.

I am very grateful for a wonderful family. Family was my dream as a little girl and Heavenly Father has blessed me richly!



Reunion 2009 Part 3

The moms and littles headed for fun at the Rexburg Splash Park for some heat relief. My camera needless to say was with Claigh on the shooting range so I do not have any of pictures from the "water adventure." The kids played and played and played some more while moms visited and kept a sharp eye out for their broods.

At the end of the shooting fun, Claigh pointed his car towards Rexburg and so Elijah, Jensen, Bryn and Spencer were able to join us. They got a two-fer that day :)

Smith Park not only has the splash park fun but also a carousal which Cameron graciously treated everyone to. The kids rode again and again. I am not sure which they liked best - the water or the horses.

When the tired and hungry bodies were ready to pack it up and leave, Isaac disappeared. He is a child who wants to experience everything and who gets into some scrapes due to his ability to focus! Once he has his mind on a certain path, he is not easily distracted. I don't believe there is a rebellious bone in that child's body. He is so loving and delightful. However, he caused us some anxious moments that day. I don't think he had a moments worry but as the minutes ticked by, the rest of us sure had our share. How grateful we all were to find him in his usual happy state.