Marching Forward 2011

Cameron has given a great gift. A good friend close to her age was in desperate need of a kidney and none of her family members was a match. Cameron was a match and she determined she was the one to give the gift. The surgery is a major surgery. It appears all prayers were answered with the best of outcomes. Both Cameron and the recipient have come through beautifully. I am so grateful for Cameron's ever supportive husband Collins and for his mother Shelia who is there to care for the children while their mother is in the hospital and recovering. It is difficult to not be where I really want to be. Cameron was thoughtful to call yesterday morning on her way to the hospital and again late last night when she made it out of recovery. It was a comfort to hear her voice.

We are excitedly awaiting our newest little girl. Sara and Jared are such a great parent team. It is a joy to watch their caring and loving nurture of their boys. A girl is really going bring some sparkle to an already delightful family.

Steven had a good visit with Dr. Biddulf and found he needs ACL surgery. This throws a chink into the plans he and Alyssa had to join the USAF this August. With Steven's insurance in Virginia, he and Alyssa will fly "home" as soon as his BYUI trimester ends in April for the surgery and immediate recovery. They will return to Idaho a few days late for the beginning of his last trimester and his continued recovery. With this, Steven will be kept from even applying to the Air Force until at least a full year past the surgery. YOUCH! Life has a way of throwing us some curve balls! It will be exciting to see how the Lord leads them along.

Claigh took Friday off to help me get to an appointment to have my hair cut. With the hair loss and the lack of health, I have felt more and more haggard looking. This is not a good thing for the spirit. After all kind of efforts to do something, I have accepted the fact that short for now is best. The girl gave me a very good and simple cut. It is the cut I had my high school senior pictures taken with. How's that for a blast from the past? I also had her do a color treatment (not changing my hair color at all.) It was a clear treatment she felt would strengthen the hair strands and give some shine. It worked! That makes me quite happy.

We also took Alyssa and met up with Ashlee and the kids in Pocatello, a “meet in the middle” place for us. Ashlee has struggled physically with her pregnancy (due in August) and the "Greg and Will “jinks” have added to the difficulties. They are such great boys but ALL BOY. The two of them can really cook up some trouble. With all of the kids home Fridays through Sunday and pretty much in the house the whole time, the weekends can be very long for her. Steve has been good support, getting the kids into work crews in the evenings to set things straight and getting supper on but those days can be very long for a mom with five just the same. Thankfully, Ashlee's stomach is settling and she is starting to feel better now she is entering her fourth month. The warming weather will help also with the children having more outdoor time. While in Pocatello, Claigh took the kids to a play place for about four hours while I got my hair cut and Ashlee, Alyssa & I did the Costco thing and went out for some Mexican lunch. Ashlee left Pocatello pretty exhausted but at least I hope it was a good break for her. AND hopefully the kids got some good energy out.

The Bailey's are our family in the midst of the storm experiencing a bit of calm. (Don't hold your breath! This is life after all!!) It is good to see so many blessings in the midst of a challenging time. I never cease to be amazed at the love of God that surrounds if we have eyes to see and hearts to feel. We are blessed.

Managing Prednisone Crazies!

I am really struggling with the Prednisone crazies. It is hard to feel your body and soul so revved up and not be able to settle it down. I had two nights of only three hours sleep after two very frantic days. By yesterday I was a bit on the emotional side. Last night I took the narcotic sleeping aid that the doctor prescribed and slept from around 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. It is hard because I woke feeling much more settled but had that 6:30 a.m. Prednisone looming before me. I take Prednisone a.m. and p.m. Two more weeks before I have a month break taking chemo. Who knew chemo would be a relief?

I have had four severe hunger pain break throughs. All in all four days out of fourteen is not that bad I guess. My focus needs to be on the 10 days I managed to keep things a bit on an even keel and be grateful! Now that the steroid is building in my system however, it is more and more difficult. I have learned to really rely on healthy fats, eating an avocado a day and taking fish oil. These and dairy products seem to do a better job stabilizing my appetite than anything else.

On Thursday, for my 10:30 a.m. snack I prepared some yummy fresh pineapple. - BIG mistake!! I have learned that any hit of sugar like that sends me off the deep end. No more pineapple for me when I am in a Prednisone month. I had already completely done away with “refined sugary anything” but the fruit and juice can take their toll too. It is best to have fruit or juice after a good meal with proteins and fats.

The ravenous hunger is truly overwhelming. I tell myself that I have had what I need as far as food but it is impossible to get away from the extreme drive that says I need more to eat. For the most part, I resist but it is genuinely unnerving. The best thing is for me to get out of Dodge and go do something that distracts as best as possible. Worst of all however, are the feelings of frenzy. I feel like my heart is pounding so hard and I feel very jagged. I do not like this at all.

I will set up an appointment with a nutritionist next week to fine tune my efforts to do all I can to promote immune system and kidney health during this reprieve from the assault on the kidneys. I pray Heavenly Father will continue to guide me and the health care providers for the best of chance to beat this. I had my labs this week and will see Dr. Haderlie again on Tuesday. Our third attempt at a high quality Statin drug failed. I just cannot take them. I am now taking Zetia and seem to be managing it quite well. It will not be as effective but it is something.

I was sad to find that my appointment this week coincides with my ward Relief Society's TLC (Temple - Lunch and Conversation.) That is one of my favorite activities of the month. I may be finished at the doctor in time to go and eat lunch with the sisters. If so, I will try to do a session following lunch on my own. The time in the temple gives me such a sense of peace and well being.

The strength of my church family has been one of my best of blessings. The dear women in the ward are so generous and kind. I had two meals loving prepared for Claigh and I this week. Jamie Jensen is a Stew Goddess!! That was so very very good. and Robyn Whitworth made us a wonderful chicken dinner following a very difficult day for her family. Tamara Clark brought LiElle for a sweet visit one afternoon. Tamara had come across a bottle of herb seasoning without even a pinch of salt. She bought it for me. I am overwhelmed with how beautiful and thoughtful these busy young moms are. It just makes my heart smile to see children blessed with such beautiful moms.

The one who bears the greatest burden through this time of trial has to be Claigh. It is he for whom I am most deeply grateful. He continues to amaze me with his patience and goodness. He is mindful of my needs and often sacrifices his own. It isn't easy going through this emotional roller-coaster ride with me. Truly he is my greatest “people” blessing and beyond my deserving. I want to beat this for him!

All in all, I am very grateful to be up and going strong again. Those months where I was so down physically were taking a bit of an emotional toll. I appreciate the strength in my legs to stand and walk and the usual clarity of my thinking again. As for the Prednisone Crazies . . . This too will pass!