Marching Forward 2011

Cameron has given a great gift. A good friend close to her age was in desperate need of a kidney and none of her family members was a match. Cameron was a match and she determined she was the one to give the gift. The surgery is a major surgery. It appears all prayers were answered with the best of outcomes. Both Cameron and the recipient have come through beautifully. I am so grateful for Cameron's ever supportive husband Collins and for his mother Shelia who is there to care for the children while their mother is in the hospital and recovering. It is difficult to not be where I really want to be. Cameron was thoughtful to call yesterday morning on her way to the hospital and again late last night when she made it out of recovery. It was a comfort to hear her voice.

We are excitedly awaiting our newest little girl. Sara and Jared are such a great parent team. It is a joy to watch their caring and loving nurture of their boys. A girl is really going bring some sparkle to an already delightful family.

Steven had a good visit with Dr. Biddulf and found he needs ACL surgery. This throws a chink into the plans he and Alyssa had to join the USAF this August. With Steven's insurance in Virginia, he and Alyssa will fly "home" as soon as his BYUI trimester ends in April for the surgery and immediate recovery. They will return to Idaho a few days late for the beginning of his last trimester and his continued recovery. With this, Steven will be kept from even applying to the Air Force until at least a full year past the surgery. YOUCH! Life has a way of throwing us some curve balls! It will be exciting to see how the Lord leads them along.

Claigh took Friday off to help me get to an appointment to have my hair cut. With the hair loss and the lack of health, I have felt more and more haggard looking. This is not a good thing for the spirit. After all kind of efforts to do something, I have accepted the fact that short for now is best. The girl gave me a very good and simple cut. It is the cut I had my high school senior pictures taken with. How's that for a blast from the past? I also had her do a color treatment (not changing my hair color at all.) It was a clear treatment she felt would strengthen the hair strands and give some shine. It worked! That makes me quite happy.

We also took Alyssa and met up with Ashlee and the kids in Pocatello, a “meet in the middle” place for us. Ashlee has struggled physically with her pregnancy (due in August) and the "Greg and Will “jinks” have added to the difficulties. They are such great boys but ALL BOY. The two of them can really cook up some trouble. With all of the kids home Fridays through Sunday and pretty much in the house the whole time, the weekends can be very long for her. Steve has been good support, getting the kids into work crews in the evenings to set things straight and getting supper on but those days can be very long for a mom with five just the same. Thankfully, Ashlee's stomach is settling and she is starting to feel better now she is entering her fourth month. The warming weather will help also with the children having more outdoor time. While in Pocatello, Claigh took the kids to a play place for about four hours while I got my hair cut and Ashlee, Alyssa & I did the Costco thing and went out for some Mexican lunch. Ashlee left Pocatello pretty exhausted but at least I hope it was a good break for her. AND hopefully the kids got some good energy out.

The Bailey's are our family in the midst of the storm experiencing a bit of calm. (Don't hold your breath! This is life after all!!) It is good to see so many blessings in the midst of a challenging time. I never cease to be amazed at the love of God that surrounds if we have eyes to see and hearts to feel. We are blessed.

Managing Prednisone Crazies!

I am really struggling with the Prednisone crazies. It is hard to feel your body and soul so revved up and not be able to settle it down. I had two nights of only three hours sleep after two very frantic days. By yesterday I was a bit on the emotional side. Last night I took the narcotic sleeping aid that the doctor prescribed and slept from around 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. It is hard because I woke feeling much more settled but had that 6:30 a.m. Prednisone looming before me. I take Prednisone a.m. and p.m. Two more weeks before I have a month break taking chemo. Who knew chemo would be a relief?

I have had four severe hunger pain break throughs. All in all four days out of fourteen is not that bad I guess. My focus needs to be on the 10 days I managed to keep things a bit on an even keel and be grateful! Now that the steroid is building in my system however, it is more and more difficult. I have learned to really rely on healthy fats, eating an avocado a day and taking fish oil. These and dairy products seem to do a better job stabilizing my appetite than anything else.

On Thursday, for my 10:30 a.m. snack I prepared some yummy fresh pineapple. - BIG mistake!! I have learned that any hit of sugar like that sends me off the deep end. No more pineapple for me when I am in a Prednisone month. I had already completely done away with “refined sugary anything” but the fruit and juice can take their toll too. It is best to have fruit or juice after a good meal with proteins and fats.

The ravenous hunger is truly overwhelming. I tell myself that I have had what I need as far as food but it is impossible to get away from the extreme drive that says I need more to eat. For the most part, I resist but it is genuinely unnerving. The best thing is for me to get out of Dodge and go do something that distracts as best as possible. Worst of all however, are the feelings of frenzy. I feel like my heart is pounding so hard and I feel very jagged. I do not like this at all.

I will set up an appointment with a nutritionist next week to fine tune my efforts to do all I can to promote immune system and kidney health during this reprieve from the assault on the kidneys. I pray Heavenly Father will continue to guide me and the health care providers for the best of chance to beat this. I had my labs this week and will see Dr. Haderlie again on Tuesday. Our third attempt at a high quality Statin drug failed. I just cannot take them. I am now taking Zetia and seem to be managing it quite well. It will not be as effective but it is something.

I was sad to find that my appointment this week coincides with my ward Relief Society's TLC (Temple - Lunch and Conversation.) That is one of my favorite activities of the month. I may be finished at the doctor in time to go and eat lunch with the sisters. If so, I will try to do a session following lunch on my own. The time in the temple gives me such a sense of peace and well being.

The strength of my church family has been one of my best of blessings. The dear women in the ward are so generous and kind. I had two meals loving prepared for Claigh and I this week. Jamie Jensen is a Stew Goddess!! That was so very very good. and Robyn Whitworth made us a wonderful chicken dinner following a very difficult day for her family. Tamara Clark brought LiElle for a sweet visit one afternoon. Tamara had come across a bottle of herb seasoning without even a pinch of salt. She bought it for me. I am overwhelmed with how beautiful and thoughtful these busy young moms are. It just makes my heart smile to see children blessed with such beautiful moms.

The one who bears the greatest burden through this time of trial has to be Claigh. It is he for whom I am most deeply grateful. He continues to amaze me with his patience and goodness. He is mindful of my needs and often sacrifices his own. It isn't easy going through this emotional roller-coaster ride with me. Truly he is my greatest “people” blessing and beyond my deserving. I want to beat this for him!

All in all, I am very grateful to be up and going strong again. Those months where I was so down physically were taking a bit of an emotional toll. I appreciate the strength in my legs to stand and walk and the usual clarity of my thinking again. As for the Prednisone Crazies . . . This too will pass!

Me Again - Update

Thanks for allowing me to update without lengthy explanations over the phone . . . It isn't great to go over and over and over it all verbally :) and writing it allows me to more accurately express the situation. Verbally - moment to moment can shade the overall truth.

Yesterday was tough again but for tough, I must say, I am very blessed. The weakness was overwhelming. Thankfully this does not define my every moment of every day. However, it did mean my hopes for Relief Society last night were dashed. That is the honestly worst aspect of this fight. I am so flaky! I miss people!! I need to get out or burst!!! I constantly deal with weakness but manage very well for the most part. A visit from Steven and Alyssa provided a wonderful respite. I lay on the couch, they play games and laugh and challenge one another. It was good for Claigh to have some game time too.

For the first time since last July, I have two ankles that will fit into any of my shoes. (I have been restricted to one pair of sling Reems for months!) I also am able to pick up my feet and stand stable. Also, the new Stain is not impacting me negatively. I am so grateful to you Marissa for telling me of the need to take CoQ10 while on the Statin. You have made such a positive difference for me. I am thankful for your medical training and know your family and patients are blessed for your diligence.

I am learning to really be in tune with my body processing food. I find that it is unwise to go longer than 2 1/2 hours without eating something good. It may just be a light sodium multi-grain cracker with white cheddar or two OR an avocado but I need to be sure to stay on top of that if I do not want to fade away. I am also discovering how good salt free can taste! Who would have thought? When Dr. Haderlie first told me that he thoroughly enjoyed his eggs with no salt, I couldn't believe it. It is TRUE!! I have learned the real threats that come along with the high sodium intake in America.

When the doctor warned me of the challenges this treatment would bring with appetite, diabetes and irritability, I prayerfully came back to my long time study of health and nutrition. I take two Tablespoons of Nordic Fish Oil each day, an Omega 6 every other day, and usually eat an avocado a day. This healthy fat keeps me satiated and I have had no appetite surge. I also am back to a healthier regard for sweets! I have actually surmised that it is possible the rise in diabetes in America could be related not only to the high consumption of simple carbohydrates but also related to the lack of healthy fats in the diet. In this first completed week of treatment, I have dropped 11 pounds.

I actually began to format this "sweets/fats" line of thinking over the years I saw my father diet and do the "low fat" thing and yet consistently come up against his ever increasing weight. Dad was a strong man with a tremendous will and he was always starving himself to become "healthy." I am confident that the focus on pounds in the obesity battle which rages in our society is the completely wrong focus! I get leery of "way out there" or "extreme" diets as well. Good whole food in line with the Word of Wisdom is truly the way to go!! When we feed our bodies right, they have greatest opportunity to respond with the health and strength we need and we feel satisfied. My girls remember how strong I was against any "fat-free" or "diet" foods coming into my house when I raised them. It is amazing that I allowed myself to get away from this understanding for a time. Mother's give your children whole milk! (unless of course they have lactose intolerance as one of mine did :D)

I take my Calcium/D/Magnesium spread out over my three main meals. I am confident this aides in satiety as well as irritability issues.

More on the irritability and sleep issues - Of course you are going to be irritable if you are not sleeping. It is a fact that while on these high doses of steroids, if I do not do something, I will not sleep. (I had only 3 hours of sleep during the first 36 hours of treatment.) Dr. Haderlie prescribed a narcotic sleeping pill for me. I filled the prescription for "just in case" but as I read through the realities of that particular medication, I decided to follow his other suggestion that I might try an over the counter medication. I prayerfully decided to give Unisom a try. I use the Unisom that is safe for pregnant women. - Success - AND not as harsh on my body. I am constantly thankful for the guidance of the spirit in these decisions. Those of you who know me best, know I am NOT about taking pills. This decision has been quite the departure for me but the right way to go. I sleep. I do not feel tension. I am not teary.

Tamara - the fish dinner was absolutely delicious! I must get your salsa recipe. I have felt so badly to have any of you bring me food. Claigh and I can manage very well as it is just the two of us. Your offers are beyond generous but most important to me personally has been the kindness and love that you have shared. It has also been wonderful for Claigh to end a very full day with something loving prepared that is nutritious and tasty.

I enjoyed hearing your voice yesterday Sylvia and having a good laugh. Jean, your thoughtful check-ins are so very appreciated and the creamed peas & potatoes really hit the spot. To my beautiful daughters - What can I say. - I am a very blessed mom.

Kevin - Thanks for the thoughtful email. I agree. That being said, for now this treatment is right. It is giving me time. Further damage is stopped and I have time to do the study and implement efforts necessary to give myself the best possible outcome. This treatment is not a cure but it has the best record of success in giving a person's body the opportunity to right itself (30% chance.) I am going to continue to study, pray and do all in my power to follow the Spirit by providing my body with all it needs to recover full health.

I have dreams of a great future on this earth, teaching and loving children around the world. People are my passion. I love to teach. I am confident the Lord is mindful of me and will use me to His best advantage if I am willing to follow whatever path he leads me down. I pray to do my best and leave to God the rest.

A Sadness . . .

I received my formal release from the temple this week. This is a bit hard to take but the reality is that with every thing considered, it was very difficult to be reliable on such a stringent and demanding schedule. The biggest challenge for me emotionally is the loss of activity. I am still able to attend the temple every week with some of my Relief Society Sisters.

My stake music calling is such a blessing for me. I have many good hours to work at my snail pace and with this calling I can go to it when I have strength and energy. When needed, I can be sure to set things up to protect the energy needed. This week and last of course have been exceptions to that with the downturn and start of the new treatments but Dr. Haderlie has assured me I will feel pretty good during the chemo months and there are things I can do to manage the challenges of the steroid months. I have hope.

The Fire Saga, Impact on a Loving Spouse and Miracles . . .

Prior to Steriod/Chemo treatments:

What a deal! When I was on Lipitor, I was suffering from some poor thinking and weakened muscles. It took a bit to realize it was the Lipitor that was causing it. I was heating coconut oil to make some Navajo Taco Fry Bread. (It shouldn't have been that difficult to be safe!)

1st mistake: I left the lid on the pan.

2nd mistake: I walked away and forgot it.

3rd mistake: when I came back to the kitchen and saw the steam pouring out from under the lid, I removed the lid!

I know better!!

The flames were shooting 4 - 5 feet into the air and were in the way of the cup board where I keep the baking soda. Claigh was napping on the couch in the front room. I yelled for him and he ran in, picking up the pan and heading for the door. He had only stockings on his feet. When he got to the door, he had to unlock it with one hand, holding the pan with the other. He tipped the pan slightly spilling some of the hot grease on the living room carpet and redirecting the flames so that the inside of his index finger was badly burned. I was shuffling behind him (very weak and insecure legs) with the baking soda. He got the pan outside. Shortly afterward I caught up with the soda. Our hood/microwave took a beating and there was some slight damage to the cupboard above it.

We feel very blessed that Claigh did not burn his feet or legs. We feel very blessed that we did not set the whole house on fire! We feel very blessed that Claigh's finger has healed nicely with the help of the doctor and friends.

Lessons learned: Do not make Fry Bread when you are not able to be on top of your game mentally. Do not have the baking soda in a cupboard that could be blocked by flames. Have a fire extinguisher under the sink ready to go.

The added stress of my illness has taken a toll on Claigh. He has had a battle with his second case of shingles. His first shingles experience was over 25 years ago in Missouri.

What a painful and debilitating attack! Thankfully Claigh was early to recognize the symptoms and was into the doctor for an immediate anti-viral. This weakened the severity of the attack although he did miss a full week of work. Perhaps this provided a very needed rest from work but I am not confident the pain involved is worth it at all.

Have I ever mentioned how I love the temple? When in the temple with a friend, on Claigh's worst week, a simple thought entered my mind. It was brief and quick but thankfully the quiet and peace of the moment let me hear clearly.

A few days earlier, friends had recommended that we add oil of lavender to the regime of treatments for Claigh's burn. His finger was well on the way to healing but he needed some help regaining suppleness to the skin. Lavender oil is calming and so why not? (The price of lavender oil is not so calming.) The progress of the heal quickened noticeably.

Back to the temple, "Claigh needs to use the lavender oil on his shingles." That was it. Quick. Unrelated to anything else that was happening. But clear.

Claigh's pain from the shingles was just really working up to a fury at that time. He had just received a powerful medication for nerve end pain that was taking a toll on his functionality. When I came home and told him I felt we needed to use the oil on his shingles, he immediately felt it was a right idea.

Honestly - the answer to prayers is an amazing testament that we are loved by a perfect Father. Claigh had only taken one of the vamped up pain medications. The lavender oil soothed and managed the rest. He was back to work the following Monday.

Through it all, we are blessed!

Forward . . .

I'm with you Harry on the natural health solutions but in this case I am very thankful for the miracles of modern medicine. This is an auto-immune disorder and is very dangerous. My Dr. and I have tried less intensive solutions but things have progressively worsened in spite of our best efforts. Now is the time to really hit hard. I have hope that I will fall into the 30% who have complete remission. The bad news - my protein loss and cholesterol are way over the critical levels. (high risk protein loss is 8 grams - I am over 16 grams, my cholesterol is over 550 and climbing with 444 of that LDL. My triglycerides are 116 as well - Whew!) The good news, Dr. Haderlie says I am so healthy in all other respects that it is very unusual for someone with such a serious disorder. This is due to my taking such good care of myself physically over the years.

My thinking is clearer now that I am off of the two Statins that caused me trouble and led to the fire incident. Claigh's burn has healed nicely and he has overcome the worst of the shingles he was battling. I have to start a new statin next week in hopes of getting the cholesterol under control a bit. Non-flushing Niacin didn't do a thing for me. As I said the liver challenges are not related to diet but are a direct result of the immune system attack on my kidneys. We are hopeful I can tolerate this statin without muscle loss and mental confusion.

I had a great afternoon yesterday followed by a very difficult night and tough morning this morning. I struggled with a severe headache and bright-eyed sleeplessness. Tonight I will take a sleep aid - for me that is huge as I have an aversion to medicating myself but it is necessary if I want to keep my sanity.

The nurses at the infusion lab are wonderful. I am so thankful. It was recommended that I try Pepsi or Coke for the caffeine to combat headaches. OUCH! I have decided that instead of that I will do caffeinated Green Tea. Green Tea is great for kidneys and I have been using decaf for a while. By going this route, I will get the caffeine but not have the sugar/carbonation hit I would from the sodas. I could hardly raise my head with the pain this morning. I pray for inspiration as to the best solutions with the fewest side effects. My stomach has already been feeling the stress of the medications.

Carol was kind to get me to and from the hospital. That was a smart choice. I really wasn't fit for driving. What would I do without such good souls who are so willing to help out.

This afternoon is better again. I have managed the laundry and ironing. (Claigh's 7 white shirts a week habit over the years keeps me busy :D) It feels so good to get some things done. It does something positive for my psyche when I can work a bit. Claigh will do the grocery shopping on his way home from work tonight. Another friend is bringing dinner. I really appreciate this as it gives Claigh something tasty at the end of a very busy work days.

I missed you Alyssa and hope you get over your bug soon. I am still hoping to be strong enough Saturday to share the Julie Beck address with you.

Progress?

Thanks for the yummy chicken and baked potato Jean and Gary! Just right!! It was so kind and very appreciated. Thanks for the flowers JoAnn and Terry. You are two of the dearest souls! AND an especially heartfelt thanks for all of your prayers and concern. I am so blessed and grateful.

I had mixed things up a bit. There was just too much information to keep it all straight. The infusion today was a steroid, Solumedrol. This will continue with 1000 mg IV daily for each of the initial three days. I will then start on high dose Prednisone by mouth for thirty days followed by thirty days of a chemo treatment, Cytoxan followed by thirty days of Prednisone etc. This will continue for six months with hopes that I will see results by then. The longest they can take this treatment is one year. I have a 30% chance of by body throwing off this assault against my kidneys.

Following the treatment at the hospital, I still felt lousy but good enough to pick up prescriptions and the very needed Peppermints at the drug store. I also got crab SUBWAY. This afternoon was a bit rough as I experienced extreme fatigue. The metalic taste in my mouth from the treatment is AWFUL! I had hoped it would go away but alas it seems it will be a part of my life for the next few days. Thank-goodness for Reed's Extra Ginger Ginger Beer and Cherry Ginger-Ale. Doublemint Gun seems to distract me for a while too.

While the last four days were quite rough and this morning started out very tough, when I came out of my deep sleep again at 4:00 this afternoon, I felt better than I have for a week. I still have a slight headache and the nasty taste but I have strength in my legs again and clear thinking. My right ankle is normal and the left one smaller than it has been in months. That IV carried a powerful punch. It makes me hopeful. I am sorry for rambling - so much to process.

My friend Carol Stewart will get me to and from the hospital the next two days. Thanks for your generous and kind willingness to help me Carol. I did well today, but with all of the new medications starting today, the warnings are that I should give some time to see my reactions before I drive. I believe in responding to cautions. I don't want to be undone on the road even if it is just a short 5 minute drive.

Love to you all, Mom/Wendy

Tough News For Me This Week . . .

This past week has been a bit overwhelming for me. I knew what was coming but held out hope that it wouldn't be.

The day after I had my labs done, the doctor's office staff called me with alarm. My cholesterol was 550 (444 of that LDL.) I had a very severe reaction to the Statin I was on and had to be taken off of it. I have reacted badly to the second Statin as well. We are going to try a third as Dr. Haderlie is afraid I will suffer heart damage on top of all the kidney and liver trouble I am in. If this Statin doesn't work we will have to try something less effective in managing the cholesterol. The cholesterol is a direct result of the kidney challenges I am having - not at all related to diet.

Also, my protein loss remains very high. While I have felt better as a result of the medication, there is no improvement - only decline in my ability to process protein and provide what is needed to my blood.

This morning Dr. Haderlie told me we are out of easy options and it was time to pull out the heavy artillery. While we had hoped to give the efforts we were making until the end of March, it is critical that the time table be moved up. (I am so sorry Sara.) I left the office with many cautions and warnings and seven prescriptions. I will be on a schedule rotating between a month of Chemo Therapy and a month of very heavy steroid treatments. We had hoped to avoid this as these treatments bring some pretty heavy risks and yet to do nothing would be worse.

The Chemo I will have is not the same as the one used for say Lung Cancer. I will probably actually feel pretty good the months I am on Chemo. I will not loose my hair. If I did not tell you, you would not even know I was having Chemo. Dr. Haderile said the big risk is that it will shut down my immune system. (My problem is that my immune system is attacking my kidneys and if left unchecked, it will kill them.) We want to stop this attack while I still have good kidneys to save. He also stressed that while I am in this treatment program, I will have to be extra cautious staying away from any one with the slightest cold or infection. He said he knew this would impact the contact I would be able to have with grandchildren but it would be important that we all take things very seriously. Church attendance will be Okay but again I will need to be extra careful and trust others to be mindful as well.

The high doses of steroids are going to be a big challenge. The harshest of the steroids are the ones that have proven successful in battling this illness. I will have a ravenous appetite and could be challenged with more weight gain. He said if I am mindful of this, I can monitor my eating by watching the calories. The natural feeling of "being full" will not help because the steroids interfere with that signal. Even with the care I take with my eating, I will get very puffy.

Dr. Haderlie had so much to say, I am really overwhelmed. On these other side affects, I can't remember which are caused by the Chemo and which are caused by the steroids:

1. I will be at a higher risk for developing diabetes. This is a shock as heredity already puts me at a very high risk. I "think" this is related to the steroids. On the months I take the steroids, I should be extra careful diet wise as far as sugars go. I will have to clarify with the doctor if it is the steroid months or the chemo months that this applies.

2. The treatments put me at a higher risk of developing cancer.

3. My bones are going to take a hit. I will need to be on double the recommended doses of Vitamin D and Calcium to try and counteract the impact of the treatments.

4. The lining of my stomach will take a hit. I now have a prescription for an acid medication to counteract that.

5. I could suffer with insomnia. I have a prescription for sleep medication if that becomes an issue.

Because of all of the risks involved, I will now have the blood & urine tests and see the doctor every three weeks instead of six. Dr. Haderlie also gave me his cell phone number so that I could reach him at all times. I can't say enough how confident I feel in his care and ability to give me the best chance I can have.

Dr. Haderlie is hopeful we will see some positive results in six months. At that time we will re-evaluate. The longest we can utilize this treatment plan is one year. Because of the risk factors, shorter is better.

I don't know why this is my life at this point but I do trust in my Father in Heaven's love. I feel so blessed to know and understand The Plan of Salvation. I am confident that there is great purpose in this life and trust that I am clay in the hands of the potter. The sadness I have felt the last couple of days as I have come to terms with what was coming will not get me down! I am in the process of taking a deep breath and allowing myself to be comforted by the power and warmth of the Holy Ghost. Those of you who know me best know that for me control is a very big deal. I think it is an especial challenge for those whose childhoods are out of control. I have to let go and trust God in a way almost as great as I have had to do as a mother and that is big.

I am also very aware that there are many whose struggles are much greater than mine. This is life! We each have our share of blessings and challenges that is for sure.

Please keep Claigh in your prayers as well. I am very aware of the challenge this is for him. We had other plans for our lives at this time. Our hopes for missions after retirement are still there but who knows the way things will go.

There are things I can't control but I am determined to do all that I can to regain full health God willing. I look back over my life and marvel at His hand in my life all along the way. Forward and onward!

Aly and Steven's First Home

After a delay in Rawlings, Wyoming due to the closing of I-80, Alyssa and Steven arrived in Idaho safely Friday. They had hoped to make it to Soda Springs in time to celebrate Bryn's 11th birthday and thankfully they did. After a birthday dinner with Ash and Steve and Sara and Jared's families, they made their way to us in Idaho Falls.

After catching their breath a bit, opening wedding gifts, apartment contract review, visiting, unpacking and repacking, and renting a U-Haul, things were in place for their move into their first home.

Tuesday dawned a bitter -14 degrees. Steven made his way to Rexburg for an early morning work meeting while Alyssa and I began the process of washing all of her dishes and linens so that things would be ready to go straight into their cupboards.

I had begun the day fasting for blood work which unfortunately took a bit out of me. By 10:30 a.m. I ran out of steam and was down for the rest of the day. However, with the early morning efforts, Alyssa and I were almost at the end of the 3 dishwasher loads, 2 dish drainer hand washed loads and three loads of laundry by that time. Alyssa kept at it and had everything ready to go when Claigh and Steven picked up the U-Haul at 1:00 p.m. (The temperature had warmed up to a balmy 4 degrees by then.)

The Sevy's are now official residents of Rexburg, Idaho and we couldn't be happier for them. The generosity of so many dear friends and family has helped this young couple in their start to new family life. Their apartment is sparsely furnished and yet filled with not only their love for one another but the love of so many whose gifts contributed to the setting up of their new home. Surely the love of God is reflected in the loving kindness of His people. We are so very grateful.

THE Wedding!

It took us six years from Ashlee's birth to get Alyssa AND it was well worth the wait! How we love this beautiful faithful daughter. Alyssa has had quite the adventurous life with her junior high school year spent as a Congress Buntenstag student in Germany, a leadership scholarship to CNU following High School, an 18 month mission to Portugal for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and a return to Christopher Newport News University in Virginia to finish her Bachelor's Degree Studies this past year and a half. Now the best of adventures begins as she was married to Steven Sevy, December 15th, 2010 in the Draper Utah Temple!

Steven is a true answer to this mother's prayers. You may have heard me say on more than one occasion, I love love! Our world is all mixed up right now on matters of love and marriage and family. I prayed that a young man as faithful as Alyssa would find her and that together they could build a future basking in the light of the love of the Savior. Heavenly Father has blessed both Steven and Alyssa with a perfect match. I am deeply grateful.

On December 9th, Alyssa completed her final finals and http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif she did very well I might add. That same day, Claigh flew to Virginia for the "Preception" in Poquoson the following evening. Due to my health challenges I was not able to make the trip. The Sevy family is wonderful and with their help, her sorority sister SaraLynn and her mother, and many other dear souls, a wonderful time was had by all. SaraLynn's dear husband Daniel brought his camera and got some pictures.

After pulling an all night packing session, Aly and Claigh boarded the plane to fly home. They arrived just in time for Alyssa to make it a few minutes late to a bridal shower put on by her dear friend Deatra.

Sunday was filled with church and friends. Monday she was off to the dentist and then we headed for Salt Lake City. (Actually we hit snag #1 when Alyssa couldn't find her drivers license and debit card. We finally had to leave without them. The girl had had so little rest the following week I thought it was incredible she was standing!)

Tuesday was get our bearings day and a photo shoot in extreme wind at the temple. I loved watching this very "in love" young couple. They really know how to have fun together. What a joy.

We ended the evening with dinner and the diving show at The Mayan Adventure Restaurant with the Stalcup family and Cam and Collins, which was followed by some last minute shopping.

Wednesday morning dawned bright and early with one last minute crisis. The girl scheduled to do her hair and makeup never showed. Thank-goodness for sisters! We made it to the temple only 15 minutes later than scheduled and Alyssa was at her most beautiful ever. Did I mention that I love this girl!

There was newly fallen snow and lots of closest family and friends to greet the newly wed couple. All of our son-in-laws and daughters as well as 15 of our 20 grandchildren were there. Chris and Erin made the extra effort to come up from California. After more pictures we were off to the Magnolia Grove for a luncheon with about 80 guests. Thankfully Cameron and Collins took a few candid shots. We had a wonderful photographer, Ashley Mackay and didn't take any pictures ourselves.

Alyssa and Steven left the next day for Florida, a Bahamas Cruise and a flight for Virginia for a Sevy Christmas. They will pick up her car and things and head out on the road for Idaho. PRAYERS PLEASE! Steven begins his last seven months at BYUI. We are excited to have them close for a few months but then they are off to parts unknown. Steven hopes to have a commission in the USAF.

We feel very blessed!

PICTURES FOLLOW

Wedding Pictures

December 15th - Greeting the Newly Weds as they leave the warm temple and walk into the brisk winter air
Spencer and Xander
Aly and Nieces
Ashlee and Will

Nephews getting ready for pictures - Jacob, Max, Noah, Xander, Seth, Alyssa, Will, Greg, Elijah, Spencer (hidden), Brig
As mentioned, the candid shots were taken by Cameron and Collins.
December 14th Dinner at The Mayan with Stalcups and Stewarts
Ashlee, Sara, Erin, Alyssa, Carey, Cameron

Alyssa and Cameron
Sisters

Jensen, Bryn, Steven, Lucy, Kes

Bailey Family

Spencer, Will, Bryn, Steven, Alyssa, Greg, Kes
Bryn's favorite part of the luncheon (We don't have a picture of Spencer's favorite part - the cheesecake!)
Uncle Dennis plays "Somewhere My Love" for Aly
Jensen and Bryn take a peek to watch the photo shoot.
This is what they saw.
Getting married on top of a mountain in December tends to chilly weather. After looking at chintzy capes in bridal shops that just didn't match up to her dream, Alyssa found the design and the perfect fabric for her wrap. Her wonderful mother-in-law helped make it a reality.

Preception Pictures

Doctor Who?

Family

With Ashley and Kelsy

Sorority Sisters

What would wedding time be without a crisis - The cake decorator canceled the week of the preception. Not good when you are in the middle of final exams. A friend of a friend stepped in! I have been told the red velvet cake was delicious. Alyssa's colors were royal purple and Shasta Daisy red.) The bride and groom carving was done by Alyssa's father-in-law.


Dancin' Shoes

Struggle Ahead . . . Catch up July 16 - October 18, 2011

These past three months have been tough to say the least! I am not Okay but trust I am in God's hands and I guess that is better than Okay isn't it?

Aunt Norma Stanford, her daughter, my dear cousin Janet, Aunt Joanie Coover, and last of all, Brother Regher passed from this life to the next. The hardest of these losses was Janet. She was taken so young and so quickly - just days following her mother's death. Janet's cancer was detected the week of Aunt Norma's funeral. The other dear souls had lived long and well. It seemed a tender thing for them to move from this life to the next. Somehow with Janet it is different. There was no time to prepare or get that last hug. Still I know that we are in the hands of a loving God. I pray for her children. I trust.

Adding to the difficulty of these months has been my own physical struggle. We finally have some answers . . .

It all began with the opportunity to drive to Arizona for a 12th birthday celebration for our grandson Noah and his ordination to the Aaronic Priesthood. It is great to live in a day and time of travel possibilities that allow such precious sharing of the most important times in our family - even if it is in Arizona in July! Whew!!

Noah was his normal Noah-self and an absolute delight to be with. The time with his five brothers and sisters, his mom and dad and the Anderson crew was simply wonderful! The picture was taken on our way to a grandparents, mom and dad and Noah tasty fish dinner at Kings Seafood Restaurant. Don't you love the hair-in-the air look? Do you think it is a genetic youthful predisposition Carey?

At any rate on the morning of July 16th after a peaceful night's rest, I awoke with swelling in my legs and feet. Things began to progress throughout the day with an evening visit to an Urgent Care facility, followed by an emergency room visit and numerous lab tests that comprised most of the night. Nothing particular was found except for a possible high read on proteins in the urine. It was nothing significant though and the doctor thought it was probably nothing. He sent me home with diuretics and the council to follow up with my family doctor in Idaho Falls.

We headed back for Idaho taking the route through western Arizona so we could stop and see my brother David who lives in Lake Havasu. We arrived in Lake Havasu in time to share lunch and some laughter with David, Sharon and Sharon's mother before we continued on our way home. After an uncomfortable night in Cedar City, we hit the road hoping to arrive in time to see our family doctor for a 4:00 p.m. visit. We just made it. Dr. Bennett assured me that he thought I had just had a bit too much salt. He told me to cut back on salt intake and continue with diuretics. I really did not think salt was the problem but I guess that for some people it is and this was the logical starting point.

A week later, things had progressed and I was definitely not getting better. It is important to note that other than the fatigue which I have been battling for a couple of years, consistent weight gain, and the swelling of my legs and feet, I felt just fine. Actually the exhaustion factor was increasing and I found myself often berating myself for being lazy and unable to get much accomplished. Those of you who know me know that I am a goer and a doer. I have always had high energy and a love for having things in order. I love to be with people and in general just living life fully and richly. I felt I was slowly being swallowed up in weakness.

I called the doctor's office to find he was gone for the week. I made an appointment to see his associate. (As a side note, Claigh and I have consistently prayed for divine guidance for ourselves as well as the doctors who were treating me. This prayer has been repeatedly answered.) At the end of my appointment, I mentioned the low level of protein in my urine that had been noted in my hospital visit in Arizona. The doctor almost as an afterthought determined it might be wise to do a 24 hour urine collection to see if there was anything there. This was the beginning of an at times overwhelming process. It was found that my kidneys were not processing proteins normally and indeed the levels of protein in my urine were over 8000. That is very bad!

My family doctor returned, made an emergency appointment for me at the kidney institute. That first visit was a bit unreal. The possibilities seemed far beyond what I could believe. I asked why I wasn't feeling sick. The doctor told me that kidney disease is called the silent killer for a reason. It kind of sneaks up on you. He also said I was very fortunate because most people do not catch these problems so early on in the process. Following more extensive blood work that gave no clear indication of what the problem was, I was scheduled for a kidney biopsy.

My biopsy was done October 1st, the tissue sent to a lab in Arkansas, and the report to the doctor by the 5th. What an amazing time we live in! Dr. Haderlie called to start me on another medication and give me the direction for more blood work to be done a week later, just prior to my next appointment with him. In the meantime, I had begun to deteriorate even more with bouts of extreme muscle weakness and overwhelming fatigue. I was losing hair by the handfuls.

My decreasing health made me more and more unreliable. A week ago, I had to come to terms with the fact that I could not continue to let others down with my last minute "pull-outs." This was a real low for me. I had to give up my work as election day registrar and even more painful, I had to take a leave of absence from my Wednesday morning shift at the temple. We had bought Claigh's ticket to Virginia in December for Alyssa's wedding reception in the hopes that I would improve and be able to attend. It became apparent that I couldn't plan on it. (I am so grateful for the many kind and generous women who are helping her and for Steven's family. I am also grateful they will be married in the Draper Temple just 3 1/2 hours away. I am thankful for the family celebration following the wedding. When this was all planned, we knew nothing of what was happening within my body - just another tender mercy from the Lord.)

Sunday, October 17th, our home-teachers (elders from our church) came to give both Claigh and I blessings. These two men are dear friends. God's love is reflected in the goodness of his faithful.

On Monday, October 18th Claigh and I headed for my appointment with Dr. Haderlie. I was confident things would be quickly and easily resolved - perhaps a diet change, some medication and a little time and all would be well. Claigh quietly had a different view. We planned to make the rush-hour movie following the appointment as a beginning of next day birthday fun. We never made it to the movie.

In brief:

I have Membranous Glomerulonephritis and Nephratic Syndrome.

Some proteins are provided to the body through the food we eat. Some are created in the liver. In my case, nothing is working right in either regard. My liver is aware and over working trying to compensate and is now added to the list of things to monitor. My kidneys are currently operating at 100% capacity but instead of appropriately sending proteins into my blood, the proteins are slipping through and being dumped. "Protein excretion into the urine (proteinuria) is accompanied by low levels of important proteins, such as albumin, in the blood, increased levels of fats (lipids) in the blood, a tendency for increased blood clotting, and a greater susceptibility to infection. The decreased level of albumin in the blood leads to edema and to the retention of excess sodium." I have been feeling "wasted" due to the lack of protein in the blood and the high levels of acid in the blood.

With one week on the medication, my protein levels did not go down but increased to 13000. Dr. Haderlie says this puts me into the "High Risk Group." He said that many doctors would immediately start me on high dose chemo-therapy but he felt we have a little time to see if we can get things under control. (This is because other "markers" are still in good ranges.) The end of this effort will be in March. If we are not able to rein things in, I will then begin Chemo-therapy.

Due to the overwork of my liver and other related factors, My Cholesterol is at 407 mg/dl with LDL at 272.4. (HDL is 99.) The doctor says this also puts me at high risk for stroke or heart-attack.

My immune system is compromised. Dr. Haderlie said I need to be wise and stay away from crowed theaters on a Friday night, sick children etc. I will get my flu shot this week for the first time ever. - The fun never ceases!

It is not known if this is a primary disease or secondary. Dr. Haderlie said I need to work with my family doctor to immediately do my cancer screenings regardless of the last time I had them done. Undetected cancer is the likely culprit in most cases. Diabetes can also bring this about but all tests seem to indicate that I do not have diabetes. The other possibility as stated earlier is that this is a primary disease. If so, there is a 5%-30% chance that within five years it will just resolve itself, leaving my kidneys in good shape. I VOTE FOR THAT! I did have to wonder at the 5-30 range. - What on earth does that mean?

I also currently have a danger of developing blood clots with the greatest concern being a clot to the kidney which would immediately kill the kidney or to the lungs. As a matter of fact, I had to leave the Doctor's office at 5:30 p.m. and head for the hospital to have ultra-sounds of both legs due to the uneven swelling. My technician was one of the rugby players from the Highland High Team featured in the film "Forever Strong." How about that! The interesting conversation made up for the 2 1/2 hour wait, the loss of a movie night, and the overwhelming diagnosis. (Not really but it did help ease things a bit.) Claigh and I got home around 9:00 p.m., I took my meds adding the two new prescriptions and I fell exhausted into bed.

Claigh had a full work schedule in Driggs (2 hours away) the next day which was to be my 58th birthday. Trips to Driggs are long days for him which is tough when he isn't well rested, and I wasn't looking forward to being alone. I felt sucker-punched with the reality of the challenge ahead finally sinking in a bit. I slept on the couch downstairs as I have to get up throughout the night and I worry about interrupting Claigh's sleep. About midnight I heard Claigh walking around upstairs and worried that he was still up.

The next morning at 6:30 a.m., I heard Claigh come down the stairs and sit in the big chair beside the couch. I turned to say good morning and low and behold, he had grown beautiful blond hair! I was shocked to see Carey sitting there grinning ear to ear. Claigh has pulled of some big time surprises in my life but this had to be one of the best ever! After our morning prayer, Claigh left for Driggs and Carey prepared me a delicious Frittata. She actually created the frittata with 5 eggs laid by her family chickens the morning before. Yummmmm!! (Did any of you ever see Carey as the mom of six with a dog and chickens? Very fun. . .)

My dear friend Jean knocked at the door at 8:30 a.m. with a hug and some tasty dinner for later. At around 10:00, Ashlee drove up minus kids to spend the day! Surprise number two and absolutely fantastic. Two dear friends from church showed up at 11:00 - hugs and laughter.


Carey, Ashlee and I enjoyed lunch at Carinos Italian Restaurant - more laughs and memories. We ran a few errands and headed back home so I could rest for a couple of hours and Carey and Ashlee could run an errand for Cameron.


Alyssa and Steven had their engagement pictures taken last weekend and sent them via email. Of course, the three of us enjoyed some time going through them. Ashlee kept us laughing with her "great" ideas for the wedding reception. We will have a fun family time as we gather to celebrate. It is so good to see young love ready to commit to God and one faithful other. Steven makes son-in-law #5 and we are thrilled!

Early in the afternoon, in Arizona, Sara had her ultra-sound and found that after three delightful sons, she and Jared will be blessed with a little girl. That makes grandchild #20!! The day just kept getting better.

We ate a tasty supper of Carinos' left-overs followed by the white chocolate cheesecake I had made - more laughter and good conversation. Carey presented me with a fun charm necklace to match one for her and one for Jensen. Ashlee and I have been canning buddies this summer. She surprised me with a canning book we had both been admiring. My friend Bonnie stopped by to say Happy Birthday, Claigh made it home (with the new Condalisa Rice auto-biography I have been wanting to read.) around 9:00 p.m., Ashlee headed for her home, and Claigh, Carey and I settled down to watch the movie Cameron gave me for my birthday (Temple Grandin) I fell asleep after the first few minutes but finished it this morning after I saw Claigh off on his way to the temple and Carey on her way to SLC airport.

The story of Temple is very inspirational. Thank-you Cameron. It was just what I needed. The most touching part of the story to me is when Temple seems to accept her reality as her mother reassures her. I felt something very personal in that moment.

Many of you posted birthday wishes for me online. This added to the blessing of strength, peace and the love of God I felt through what could have been a very rough day. I am deeply and profoundly grateful. A special thanks to Claigh, Todd and Steve for their thoughtful efforts in giving me a day with two of my five beautiful daughters. And as for Jean & Gary, Bonnie, Sylvia, Erica, Hilarie, Pam & Steve, Sunny, Deanna, Paula, Adeana, Bob & Jackie, Amy and Nicole - Good friends are truly one of the best blessings of life. Also, thanks to all of you who have prayed for us and added your faith to ours.

A final note: Yesterday was not only great for having my girls here but also for the fact that already with the new medications, I have increased stamina. This continues today or I would never have completed this post.

Forward and Onward!

Stewart and Stalcup fun In Idaho

The past weeks have been filled with fun and good times! The last of June, Alyssa flew in for a three week visit from Virginia followed closely by Cam and Collins and family arriving from Washington, followed by Ashlee and kids sharing a few days with us all. Alyssa flew home, Cam and Collins left for a Stewart reunion in Utah, and Ashlee and crew made their way back south, Claigh and I changed all the bedding, hopped in the car and headed for Soda Springs to spend July 4th weekend with Ash and Steve.

Some of the fun:
* wedding dress shopping and plans sorted through for December
* corn on the cob and fudge at Farmers Market
* nieces and nephews met their new soon to be Uncle Steven with a "V" for the first time. (They love him and we concur!)
* Rexburg temple trip for Cam, Collins, Alyssa and Steven followed by barbecue at Famous Daves (They loved it!)
* early morning disk golf
* first two strawberries of the season picked from grandma's patch.
* splash Park fun in Rexburg (Gideon and Spencer were wild men! - Very fun!!)
* fireworks culminating in "Pink Diamonds" for Felicity (quote "I loooovvve pink!")
* Egin Lake - catching tadpoles - eating hotdogs - loading up on sand etc.
* hide & seek
* Ashlee's first trip to Sarah's Cottage - truffle yumminess!
* smoosh ball tag
* strawberry rhubarb pie - Yummmmmm!
* Lego creation
* "The Last Airbender" in 3D (AWESOME!)
* building a float and creating costumes with Ashlee.
* July 3rd fireworks, and July 5th Parade and a little blue grass music thrown in for good measure (Soda Springs takes America's birthday seriously - Very fun!)
* home for a brief collapse "Toy Story 3" - back to work for Claigh - back to the temple for Wendy. Whew!!!
* AND the grand finale - sharing in the first temple experience for our dear friends Chris and Pilar Saslow - Their family became forever! How we love the blessings of the temple! Thank-you Heavenly Father.

We were so busy having fun we didn't get many pictures. I promise to do better next time.